Nikki came to me recently (not her real name). She had been divorced for over a year, and was having fun dating again. She succumbed to online dating and signed up to E-Harmony and was going on dates 4 nights a week. Although the quantity of dates was abundant, the quality was not. She felt that she was way too assertive, educated and ambitious for most of the men she met online. This isn’t to say there was anything wrong with them, or her, but they just weren’t good fits. This is the false illusion that online dating brings. You feel you are being proactive, because you are able to go on numerous dates, but the people you are meeting are not good fits. So, Nikki changed tactics and ditched online dating, and saw an incredible result!
Rather than spending time with strangers, people who have invested nothing in you (and vice versa), Nikki went on a mission to ask every person in her circle if they knew anyone who was single. Don’t ask, don’t get! To be clear, this wasn’t in a ‘I’m so desperate!’ way; it was more about letting people know you are interested in meeting someone and, if they can help, they will. We often assume that people should know things about us, but they are so busy in their own lives, that they have scant time to think about us as well.
A study has shown that 66% of people already know someone in their future partner’s circle before dating. It might need a wee bit of instigating, but this is the best way to meet someone. ‘Real life’ is where it’s at.
If you are able to get to Central London, a wonderful way to practice ‘real life’ scenarios is to join us on a Fearless Flirting Tour. If you’re not local, then order yourself a copy of my book, to help you on your way to stop swiping, start talking and find love!