You’ve landed yourself a date! Woo! Great job you! So, let’s move on to how you’re going to get another one afterwards. As harsh as it sounds, the dating world isn’t one of second chances and giving benefit of the doubt. It is, sadly, quick to judge. Just like a performance review, your
dating future can so easily be determined by one two-hour dinner. No wonder people get nervous!
It might seem paradoxical to then say ‘just be yourself’. The truth is, that’s all we know how to do. Pretending to be someone you’re not is tiring and although playing by the rules might just get you a second date, you won’t be able to keep up the charade forever.
Next, you want to strive for balance. If this is going to be an equal relationship, it better start off that way. If you’re a woman who’s asked a man out, don’t cling to the belief that you have to be a strong independent woman and any act of chivalry is an offense. That’s a role reversal, not equality. You’ve taken the first step to do the asking out, so let him step it up now and ‘woo’ you. Studies have shown that people like those best, who they have done something for, rather than those who have done something for them. Yes, you heard that right. If you let him do something for you – hold your bags, take your coat, let him pay – he will like you more! Many women continually reject these offerings from their dates thinking, ‘I can do it myself. I am strong and independent’ or, even worse ‘I am not worthy of someone doing anything for me’. Neither of these attitudes are very attractive to a prospective partner. It sends them the message that you are so independent that you don’t need a partner, or so low in confidence that you don’t deserve to be wooed.
Here is the secret to dating success ladies: ask out as many men as you can. This is a numbers game after all. Numbers+your choice+commonality=success. Follow the above advice, or your life will be a succession of first dates.