When you go out for an evening, isn’t one of the benefits that you might meet interesting people? If you agree with this, then think back to what usually happens on a night out for you. Do you meet new people? There are many different ways to talk about how to approach. Today, I want to show you one of the approaching and flirting techniques that I like to call: Create an Excuse.
Last Thursday I held an event. It was a great evening (I am biased). I did something that I haven’t done before. I emailed the guests beforehand, and asked if anyone would like to ‘help’ me on the evening. I assigned the helpers various tasks. I asked them to: make sure everyone had a name tag, introduce people to each other, pass around my mailing list signup page (you don’t think I am above using unpaid labour, do you?). By doing this, the helpers had a built in excuse to approach people. People recognise that it’s easier to begin conversations when it’s not about them, but a task. By creating these tasks, or built in excuses, people felt it was easy to approach others.
Here’s a secret: you can create tasks as well. The next time you are at an event, give yourself the task of getting three numbers, giving 2 people compliments, speaking with 4 people, etc. Any time you can make your actions about a task, or creating an excuse, it means that it’s not about you. This takes any perceived pressure away. You could even ask the host if you can help in any way. This gives you free license to mix and mingle like James Bond, as well as looking like a lovely person in the host’s eyes. If you don’t approach people, you can’t meet people. Just create your excuses if you feel you need a reason to approach someone. And, away you go!
If you’d like to learn more about how to approach, please have a look at our online course, ‘How to Attract, Approach and Flirt’. If you can get to central London, let’s try this in person on a Fearless Flirting tour.