The holiday party season will soon be in full swing, what better time of year to work on making connections with others? Use these top 5 connection tips to make sure you leave an unforgettable impression, for the right reason (a.k.a. Not because you got drunk and photocopied your naked bum on the office photocopier.)
- Learn their name – All it takes is practice, and a teeny bit of effort. The ol’, ‘I’m just not good at names’ excuse, isn’t gonna’ fly. I have found that when people have motivation to learn names, i.e. they will be quizzed on them later, it certainly means they are more likely to pay attention when introduced. I was an English teacher in Japan and the knowledge that hundreds of 12 year-olds would be constantly approaching me and saying, ‘Jean Sensei, what’s my name’ certainly motivated me to try harder.
- Find commonality – Commonalities take you from strangers, to old friends in no time. Commonality is one of the most important stages in helping to develop connection. It makes people think, ‘Oh, this person is like me’. Or, ‘Oh, this person gets me’. What could be more flattering than a mirror of yourself. Oh yes, you are lookin’ good!
- Self-disclose – You gotta’ share something personal, or you won’t have anything to build on except air. Now, there is a fine line between personal and too personal. We don’t need to hear about bunion operations, but a nice story about your recent hiking adventure in the Himalayas sounds nice. Sel-disclosure is another way you can build commonalities. ‘Oh, you like to hike mountains, I do too!’. And thus, the mountain climbing connection can you see you through to find other connections.
- Don’t stick to the script – If you ask boring questions, you get boring answers. Shake it up a bit. Instead of, ‘So, what do you do’. or ‘Where are you from?’. Why not ask, ‘How would you spend your perfect day’ or ‘What are you going to be when you grow up?’
- Stay in the moment – Stop thinking, ‘When they finish, then I am going to say this’ or, try and second guess, ‘If I say x, then they are going to think y.’ Just be in that moment, with that person, for a powerful affect. You will know what to say when your turn comes. Try it and see.
Practice these top tips first hand at an upcoming Flirtology Group Flirting Tour. I will teach you how to approach and flirt without fear by arming you with top tips and techniques and a whole new way to view this flirting business. Click here to read more, and book your place today.