I started Flirtology when I was 30; this means that I have been running my business for over a decade. I have seen many changes in how people relate to Flirtology and its offerings. Twelve years ago, the Fearless Flirting tours were viewed as a ‘cool idea’ but there weren’t many punters. Now it’s a sold out event, where people feel they really need help learning these skills. This is one of the many changes that I have seen.
As people find that technology isn’t bringing them love in the way they have hoped, they are returning to the fundamentals of how to meet people, and re-learning the skills of how to be in face-to-face interactions. This is where Flirtology fits in.
Gathering from my research as a Social Anthropologist, and my long standing experience working with people in this area, I know that there are practical tips that one can execute to become a better flirt. These are learnable skills, and one doesn’t need to be born with them in order to become good at the science of flirting. However, all the tips in the world can’t help someone find love, if they don’t first address the following two questions.
- Am I worthy of being in a healthy, loving relationship?
Are you good enough? Do you think you ‘deserve’ it? Hint: We are all good enough: we all deserve this.
- Am I prepared to be vulnerable?
Once we are not just looking after ourselves, and involve another person, control goes straight out the window. In order to fall in love, there is a stage where you will be completely vulnerable. Your feelings will be in charge, you won’t be able to control them or the other person. That’s a lot of things that are out of your control. This can be scary and make people feel vulnerable. If you have started from a grounded place, and you have picked a good person, much of these feelings of vulnerability will be lessened.
But many swerve from being in a relationship with the right people and self-sabotage by picking those who are not right for them, because they don’t want to ‘risk it’. This is often done at a subconscious level, without us even realising it.
This is the main thing that I have learned from my 12+ years at Flirtology. Flirting tips are very useful for the final stage of wanting to have fun and meet people. However, if you don’t believe you are worthy, or if you are not prepared to be vulnerable, than flirting tips will only get you so far. If 2017 is the year that you are worthy and willing to be vulnerable, I am here to help!