Do you think it’s difficult to get a date? So, did my single friend, until this happened…

Earlier this week, I was in Mallorca celebrating the summer solstice. I was sitting outside a cafe with two friends: one single, one married. The single friend spotted a guy sitting inside, whom we had seen the previous night, working at the restaurant we were at. She was smitten, but shy. ‘Go in there and talk to him’, I said. ‘I can’t. I don’t know what to do’. I told her to pretend to go to the bathroom. Either on the way there or back, say to him, ‘Hey, didn’t we see you last night at xxx?’

She returned, but hadn’t done it. ‘I bottled it’ was her response. He had been on the phone, but she had also lost her nerve. (He hadn’t been on the phone the entire time). I suggested that she changed her perspective, ‘Instead of worrying about what he might think of you, instead, why don’t you give him the compliment of noticing him. We all like to be noticed by someone, and that’s what you are doing for him.’
In the meantime, he had started walking away, so our other friend simply waved at him and beckoned him over. Direct works best. He was delighted to have been called over and immediately asked if he could pull up a chair and join us. Of course we were delighted for him to do that. The two singletons proceeded to set the place on fire with their frisson and ended up having a date that night.

Yes, it’s that easy to get a date. Yes, it’s helpful to have good wing-people around. But give people a compliment by noticing them. Who knows where it might take you…