Today’s post is in response to a member of the Flirtology community, who writes, ‘I would like to learn anything that will help me to feel more confident and less self-conscious, and generally enjoy flirting and dating more.’

If you are looking at flirting as a ‘must do’ or are approaching dating like a job interview, are you surprised that you’re not getting anywhere? This is supposed to be fun, and even thrilling! If you’re not feeling this, than you are coming about it from the wrong way. I’d be happy to help you with more specific advice, in the form of private coaching, but in the meantime, start implementing the points below, and feel a change immediately.

1) Don’t expect the other person to make you happy, fill missing gaps in your life, or do anything for you. You should already be doing that for yourself. But, work on yourself is the key.

2) During the date, don’t focus on yourself; this will only make you nervous. instead, put your energy into the other person: what are they saying? Are they having fun? Did you just say something that made them blush? Smile? You can only see the fun affects of flirting if you are not focused on yourself and, instead, are in that moment with them. This is when the flirting gets very fun!!

3) Don’t try and think, ‘What are they thinking?’. ‘What would they like?’. Firstly, you don’t know. Secondly, it doesn’t matter, because you only want to be with someone who likes you, not a fake version of someone who you think they’d like. Again, how do you know that they’d prefer this made-up version to you anyway?

If you’d like to put these tips to the test, we’d love for you to join us on a night out with one of our Fearless Flirting Tours of London! We will teach you how to approach and flirt without fear by arming you with even more techniques and a whole new way to view this flirting business.

To learn more, and book your place, please click here. If you’d like any further information, or would prefer to book some one-to-one coaching, please contact me today on +44 020 7118 0858 or at