Jenny has just broken up with her long-term boyfriend, and her confidence is at an all-time low. She has recently signed up for online dating, hoping to get her confidence back up. She even went out on her first date. She liked the guy enough, and was hoping to see him again. Unfortunately, he didn’t feel the same. How do you think Jenny’s confidence is doing now?

This post isn’t about how the monster of online dating has become even worse, and your chances of meeting someone even lower: it’s about why giving strangers the job of making you feel good about yourself, is a recipe for failure. Over the next two weeks, I will share with you two, guaranteed ways to build your confidence, without relying on others to do it for you.

The first way to build confidence is to:

Treat yourself nice. Would you say that you are kind to yourself? How often do you nourish yourself or fill yourself in a healthy way? How about, instead of wasting a precious evening on a stranger, with a low probability of ever seeing again, you cooked yourself a healthy, tasty meal, whilst listening to your favourite aria. Afterwards, you ran yourself a hot bath with Dr. Haushka rose oil, scented candles, and dug into the Gone Girl novel. You then slathered yourself with your favorite Korres lotion, snuggled into your cosy flannel pyjamas, and read a bit more of your enthralling book. Not only do activities like these help to refuel drained tanks, but which of these two options can you control yourself, without depending on the actions of others’?

I am not saying you should never go out on a date again! I am saying that the first step in finding your perfect match is to make sure that you don’t need them but, rather, they make a great addition to your life. So, what are some nourishing ways that you can re-fill yourself? Yoga, listening to music, baking?

Check out my new post “How to Build Confidence Part 2“, where I share the second way to help you build your confidence.

To further your confidence skills, check out our e-courses or book onto one of our upcoming Fearless Flirting Tours of London! We will teach you how to approach and flirt without fear by arming you with even more techniques and a whole new way to view this flirting business.