There are several instances why people might need my help in finding a partner. Sometimes it’s because they are shy, or perhaps they can’t get over a ex and move forward, or maybe they don’t know how to read interest, or show someone they are interested. My last client had a different issue; he came to me for help after having had two, unsuccessful relationships, that left him heartbroken. You might be surprised to hear this, but he was the one doing the breaking up. Why was he so devestated then? He had invested 9-12 months in both cases, and still cared about both women. What seems to be the problem? In both cases, he had chosen to invest time, energy and emotion, into lovely women, but who were not right for him. And, as much as he enjoyed spending time with them both, eventually, the doom of his actions would set in; he would realise that this person wasn’t the one whom he could see being with ‘happily ever after’.
One of the greatest assets that I have discovered, which helps people in their partner search, are ‘The 5 Deal Breakers’. Unsurprisingly, he had no idea what his deal-breakers were. He was just dating people whom he had fun with and thought were pretty. After we made a personalised list of his deal-breakers he realised that, in both cases, the women were missing a few of his essential needs. In his case, it was wanting to live in the city and being intellectually curious. For the long-term, they were not fits. If he had known these deal-breakers before, they would have stopped him from getting so involved, and affecting several peoples’ hearts.
When we start dating someone new, we are often carried away by things about the other person that are certainly nice, and perhaps exciting, but won’t sustain a relationship for the long haul. Before you start jumping into the rabbit’s den, again, take stock of what your 5 deal-breakers are. They will be your guide.