I have been wanting to write about this topic for awhile. So, thank you, Jennifer, for spurring me along. Just a warning, today’s post contains a few hard truths. Jennifer* (Not her real name) wrote to me confused about why she was still single. She told me she was ‘well acquainted in the art of flirting and indeed relationships in general’. She also said she gave her friends excellent advice on their relationships and told me she had no problems making herself appealing to men. She thought she was doing everything right. Her confusion is understandable! Are you like Jennifer? Are you doing everything right, but you’re still single?
If we look a bit deeper, it appears that Jennifer has created the perfect story for herself as to why she can’t find a partner. Since she felt that she was doing everything right, she decided that she wasn’t meeting anyone because she has high standards and won’t settle for ‘second best’. This is the perfect excuse because it means that she doesn’t have to take the tough step of looking inwards, and making any changes to herself or behaviour. In the story that she has created, it’s simply a case of the men (yes, all millions of them) not being good enough for her. She just has high standards, that’s all.