Now that the world has gone into lockdown, you might find yourself online more than usual. This is the perfect time for online dating. However, do not waste time and energy messaging people. My advice is to meet for a video date as soon as possible.
So you’ve matched with someone, had the initial back-and-forth and swapped Skype or FaceTime details for a video call – what next?
- Make an effort
Perhaps you have a ‘video dating’ shirt. This is the shirt that you can put on in a matter of seconds and know you’ll look presentable. Once you’ve made sure that you are looking good, now take a look at the scenery behind. If balled up socks and empty pizza boxes enter the screen, now would be the time to move them; perhaps you could even straighten a cushion while you’re at it. Also, think angles – do we like the double chin look? If not, make sure the camera is higher than your line of sight. Even though you are not meeting in person, you are still making a first impression. First impressions count.
- Don’t do a monologue
When we are in face to face interactions – it’s much easier to jump in and add something to the conversation – less so digitally. Therefore, don’t turn your conversation into a monologue. This is about two people getting to know each other, not one person giving a state of the union address. As a general rule, one person asks three questions and then the tables turn. If one person keeps firing out questions to you simply say, ‘And what about you?’. If the other person keeps going on then say, ‘Well, in my experience’ or ‘ I find that too…’
- Practice active listening
In a world where attention is a commodity, we are not used to giving anything our 100% attention. Resist the urge to check messages, peruse social media on the sly, or anything else that brings you out of that moment. The highest quality connections are only possible when both people are in the same moment and best gift you could give someone is your full attention.
- Keep it positive
Do you think going on ad nauseum about a global pandemic is very flirty? I don’t either. It’s natural to want to address it, but then quickly move on. Again, this video date is about two people getting to know each other a bit better, just like a real date. The objective is to decide if this is someone with whom you’d like to spend another hour.
- Decide on a theme
Why not make it interesting? Perhaps you can ‘meet’ for a coffee, a glass of wine, 80’s night? Have some fun with it; cook a meal together, bake some cookies, play your favourite songs. Can I just suggest staying away from a Covid19 theme?
Follow these tips for video dating and you will find that efficiency you were always looking for…along with some potentially great matches.