You are a nice person. You think about others. Therefore, you are cautious about not talking to people, because you don’t want to ‘intrude’ or ‘disturb’ them. Let’s think about this another way. First of all, be really honest with yourself; how much are you using this as an excuse not to approach or talk to someone?
After you’ve taken out a fair share of self-responsibility, you are probably still left with a wisp of truly not wanting to be a social pest. Let me show you the new way forward. The following technique should be employed by everyone. It prevents men from feeling like Harvey Weinstein and co. and means there is no reason why women shouldn’t be doing this at every opportunity as well. Ready?
It’s time to start using the ‘Test and Assess’ method. Everyone has the right to ask someone a question. This is what happens when we live in a world with 7.5 billion people. It’s called connecting with humanity. Asking the initial question is called the ‘testing’. Now, the next part has been missing in the past. It’s the bit that separates you, from the obnoxious sod; the one that is intruding. This crucial part is the ‘assessing’ stage. It means that you create a space and see how your question is received and then asses their reaction to you. Check out the body language: have they stepped back and crossed their arms? Have they given you a big smile and responded? These signals of receptivity will give you a clue as to what your next move is. If they are not happy to be interrupted, you say something like, ‘Ok, enjoy the rest of your day’ and you leave immediately. However, you will find that the reaction of most people ranges from neutral – happy. In that case, ask another question.
*Challenge to everyone reading this.
Ask two people this week a question, and then assess their response. If it looks positive, then ask another question.
Have you seen the recent write up of the fearless flirting tours in the Metro Newspaper?