Last week’s post was about how to let people down gently. If you haven’t read this already, I urge you to do so. If everyone followed this advice, there would be a much healthier dating arena, one where people could be built up, rather than torn down.
However, this week’s post is about what to do when you have let them down gently, and they don’t react well.
To recap, Sondra reluctantly went out with a guy ‘to be polite’. Quite quickly, she confirmed that this wasn’t someone with whom she wanted to spend more time. Sondra is a nice person, so she didn’t want to hurt his feelings and tell him that she wasn’t interested. She called upon some girlfriends for advice.
This is what she said, ‘‘I was asking some girlfriends about what to do. One advised to be aloof, another said not to respond again, another said to tell him that I met up with my ex during the week, and I think it’s back on with him, so it wouldn’t be appropriate to meet.’
These solutions might seem like the easiest way for Sondra’s friends to get out of situations that they don’t want to deal with, but none of these suggestions are about treating someone with kindness and respect. I shared with Sondra the best way to do it, and she followed my advice. (I love it when that happens!). However, the guy didn’t react well…