People often ask the question, ‘How do I know if someone is flirting with me?’. But, a better question is how can I show someone that I am interested. Why is this a better question? Firstly, because we like people who like us. Think about it. Do you prefer someone who makes you feel like you’re interesting, who is nice to you and makes you feel good when you are around them? Or, do you like the person who ignores you, or isn’t very nice to you?
The second reason it’s important to learn how to show you are interested, it because it’s always best to be proactive. Flirting subtly usually means that there is a good chance that the other person will not get the hint. For more advice on why flirting subtly is not effective, have a read here of my article in the Science of Relationships. In the meantime, here are the top 5 ways to show someone you are interested.
- First, use direct eye contact while giving them a big smile. Again, forget subtle flirting. This is how people will understand your interest.
- Use touch, like a light tap on the upper arm
- Give them genuine compliments: ‘You’re so right’ and ‘I like your style’
- Say leading statements like: ‘I’ve always wanted to do that, but none of my friends are interested.’ If they don’t get the hint, then simply ask them outright, ‘Would you like to do xxx with me sometime?’.
- Use inclusive language: ‘we’, ‘us’ or ‘our’. ‘We have so much in common’ or ‘It seems the host is giving us a dirty look, because it’s 2 a.m. and we are still here’.
If you would like to learn more about how to flirt, and show someone you are interested, we can help. Have a look at some of our online courses. In particular, our course ‘How to Attract, Approach and Flirt’ is just what you need.